No BRCA

My insurance doesn't cover the BRCA testing. Still. After more careful study, my insurance liaison realized she had missed the "exclusion" part. So no testing for me. I'll resume 6-month checkups for the next couple of years.

BRCA1 & 2, part 2

Myriad Genetics claimed my insurance wouldn't cover BRCA testing about 2 months ago, but we have since discovered that with personal and family history, it is indeed covered. I went in today to have the work-up. Basically you swish around mouthwash twice for 30 seconds and spit it all in a vial. I should know in a couple of weeks if I have the BRCA gene mutation that can cause cancer.

If I do, I will consider having a preventive mastectomy and my ovaries removed. I don't know what else to do. I am so appreciative of all your faith and prayers in my behalf, but I'm also really tired of having this hanging over me. Even with a benign biopsy, my doctor wants to see me every six months for a couple of years. MRIs, mammograms, possible biopsies, blah blah blah. It's strange living with a lurker, never knowing when it will show up.

Susan emailed me today and shared what Hunter said after Jesse told his family that my biopsy results were benign. He asked what they should pray for next. And then added that maybe they should thank Him. I smiled the warmest smile when I read that. I love children so much.

If I may digress from the original topic of this post, I have to just say how much I have enjoyed loving and serving the children in our ward. What a wonderful opportunity and calling. It has been amazing, even in the toughest of times. I feel so lucky to be with those great kids each week.

I will post again when I have my BRCA results. Thanks again to all of you for your love and support. I was telling Susan how much I miss my siblings. I am so excited to see you all at the reunion!

The letter no one wants to receive

My sister, Susan, once told me that you're terrified with your first baby (giving birth) because you don't know what to expect, and you're terrified with your second because you do. I think that applies equally well here.

Most of you have been informed, and if you're reading this and I hadn't told you, I apologize for the insensitive method of communication.

For those who don't know my history, this is round two. Ding! Not to say I'm pessimistic about the experience, in fact, quite the opposite. Although my experience with cancer the first time, seven years ago, was no picnic, I feel confident that this round (ding!) will be anti-climactic. The problem? Not knowing. I don't want to be blindsided with bad news, but I don't want to over-stress myself, either. Oops. Probably too late on that one.

The update is that I meet with my second surgeon today to set a date for an MRI. I will post more information after that is set. The purpose of the MRI is to determine if there's any "activity" in the areas of concern (about 6 small, fibroid-type masses that were discovered by sonogram, not self-exam or mammo). If so, a biopsy will be ordered. If the biopsy(ies) show any malignancy, it's at that point that all hell will break loose.

Aside from this being a somewhat rambling, insensitive way to announce to everyone who doesn't already know that my left breast needs "further evaluation," I also want it to serve as a thank you. Thank you, to everyone who has already rallied behind me. Thank you for your prayers, your fast, your thoughts, your good wishes, your tears, your strength, your optimism, your love. You truly have been His hands for me.

My prayer is that none of you will have to receive a letter like this in your life, but if you do, know that I will be there to love and support you through it.
Linda

BRCA1, BRCA2

I'm having "female" troubles. Sigh. The joy of being 40, female, and a cancer survivor. No worries, no cancer scares or anything, but as I met with my OB-GYN this week, we determined that we should test for BRCA1&2, the genetic markers for ovarian cancer to determine whether they should come out or not.

It's a much longer and more complicated story than that, but suffice it to say that I'm not having any more children, and at 40, you get tired of being female in some ways. I'm sure the women reading this will know what I mean.

Without going into too much detail, I'm ready to stop being capable of bearing children, and two of the options for that include hormones, which I cannot take. Hence the genetic testing. Having survived cancer, it makes me nervous to be looking for this kind of thing, even though I suspect there's nothing to tell, and even if the markers are there, removing the ovaries would take care of it. Which is actually a good thing, since ovarian cancer does not have a high survival rate.

Not sure why I'm blogging about this, other than it's been on my mind today because I met with my doctor this morning for the tests, and I'm really very bored at work today. I'd like to go home and just go to bed. I'm exhausted.

I'll keep you all posted if there's anything to be done. If not, you won't hear a peep and all is well.

I love it when my kids recommend books

Riley recommended "Walk Two Moons" a few years ago, and it is still one of my all-time favorites. It's a Newberry winner, and if you've not had a chance to read it, add it to your list.

Lennon just finished reading "Robin Hood" in his 4th-grade class, and he brought home a copy for me (he got permission from his teacher, don't worry). I promised myself a long time ago that if my children recommended a book, I would read it. No questions. I had to Finish "Life of Pi," but now I am happily engaged in the life of Robin, Little John, Maid Marian, and all the Merry Men. It's admittedly a little youthful, but I like that. And it's so much more detail than any of the films. (OK, I confess, I've only seen the Disney version, but you know what I mean.)

There's a fellow here at my work who has two children in college, one at Brown. One semester he made a committment to read the same books they were reading for their college courses. He was a busy fellow, but he came in with the most fascinating stories. I hope that I can do the same some day. I love to read, and it's even more pleasurable when you can share the experience with your children.

I also believe that my brother has a rule that if his children want to see a movie based on a book, they must first read the book. An excellent idea, and one I will have to implement. Um, if I can get my kids to cooperate this late in the game.

So what kids books have you read because of your children? Have you enjoyed them? do you think it's because the book was genuinely fun/great/worthwhile, or more because your kid asked you to read it? I find that a recommendation by my children carries a lot of weight with me. But maybe that's only because I'm so flattered they would include me.

TMI?

My son was in the restroom yesterday, and I needed him for something, so I asked if he was about done. He said (and he'll kill me for repeating this, hence no mention of names), "I'm just wiping." I told him that was too much information, and he responded, "Why? You used to wipe me."

You can't help but love logic like that.