MS wasn't even on my radar

I do not have MS. That's the best news coming out of my visit to the Hearing and Balance Center. Other items of note:

Fit people usually feel effects of imbalance quickly, and more extremely. I'm flattered, I guess.

Anxiety (which I seem to have in spades) contributes to the dizziness, which then makes the anxiety worse, which would explain the full-on panic attack in the stairwell yesterday. Thanks to my family for watching out for me.

My doctor suspects I suffer from migraines, without the headaches. The "pitching forward" effect can be an indicator of this, and I know I've had an ocular migraine before.

There was another point she made, but my notes are at home. If it's important, I may add it later.

The prognosis? All good, aside from no quick fix. My neurological and central nervous systems are both healthy, and my inner ears are fine. Whatever disturbed my balancing ability has come and gone, but my mind and body have been left unsure of their ability to balance. If I'm still having symptoms in a month, I'm to return and get some rehab, or "balancing therapy."

She says I may get worse before I get better, which is actually a good sign. Like taking off the training wheels for the first time, when you're incredibly wobbly, but on your way to smooth riding. I'm also to return if I have 3 days of spinning, which would indicated loose rocks again.

For now, I'm to return to regular activities and work on resetting my balance system myself. She gave me some pointers, and I think it will work out fine. A month away from work should help immensely. If not directly with the dizziness, at least with the anxiety, which should have a secondary impact.

For those of you who suffer from chronic dizziness, I highly recommend the IHC Hearing and Balance Center in downtown SLC. Amazing doctor, great facility, and I feel confident I will recover.

Again, thanks to family and friends for their wonderful support (sometimes literally!). I love you all and thank you.

Dizziness is overrated

Dad called this morning to see how I'm doing with the dizziness. I was great over the weekend, but have been dizzy this morning, so I told him I must be allergic to work. He laughed. I don't think I have big enough antihistamines...

The Poisonwood Bible

I'm reading "the Poisonwood Bible" by Barbara Kingsolver. I was skeptical when I started the book, but everyone I'd spoken to said it started out a little rough, and to just hang with it, that it gets better. Well, I'm just over halfway through the book now and am enjoying it thoroughly.

One of the best things I've read in it thus far is a comment one of the characters makes about the recent Congolese election. He says the Congolese people struggle with the idea that if a candidate gets 50 votes, and the other gets 49, how the one could possibly be declared the winner. Their feeling is that then almost half the people will be unhappy, and there will be trouble down the road. Therefore, the chiefs of each village work tirelessly to compromise, discuss, and even argue until there was unity in everyone's decision. I read the passage to Ed and told him that's what's wrong with our country right now--all division and little unity, as far as politics are concerned. The one side won't work with the other, and the other doesn't want them too anyway. I mentioned maybe it would be a good idea to go back to having the winner be the president and the runner up the vice president. He said, "We used to do that?" :)

I recommend the Poisonwood Bible, even though I haven't finished it. It has some really great lessons in it about loving your neighbor.

Diet update

I'm still progressing toward my goal weight. Considering I gained 3 pounds while at the conference in San Diego, I'm pleased to announce that I'm down 2 1/2 pounds now. Why is it easier to gain weight than lose it? Sheesh. I'm at 167.2, a total of 16 lbs lost from when I began. I'd like to get down to 155, but if I stay where I am now I'd be happy.

It's a strange thing, this having to watch what I eat. I've never had to do it in my life. What a rude awakening. I am grateful though, because it's been a great reminder that we need to take care of our bodies. Ed's even participating, and has been eating better.

Now if I can just figure out the dizziness problem. Dad and Tom and Ryan gave me a blessing the other night when I went to see Carmen et al. It was nice, and he encouraged me that I would find a solution and be ok. I suspect my B12 and B6 shots as contributing, which makes me sad because they really help with my depression. Tough choices ahead.